Forever Changed

Well I haven't wanted to or been on the computer for the past 6 weeks. What it feels like to be off of facebook and social media! 

I thought it was about time to write out my birth story, it's been so chaotic and Ben and my life has changed so much since Carl Benjamin Johnson finally came into our lives!

In the weeks before having Carl I was only 1 cm dilated and about 50% effaced. The week of my due date I came down with a horrible head cold to where I lost my voice, I begged my doctor for antibiotics and it lasted a little over a week!

April 21st, I went in for me to get induced at 7 am. after hours of contractions and no dilation or any improvements other then lots of pain from all the procedures they attempted to speed up dialating, after 36 hours I finally asked my doctor if I could go home. When we left the house we thought we'd be returning with a baby, lots of fear set in of the thought that I may have to have a c-section if he didn't come by that next Monday when my doctor scheduled our last attempt. Lots of tears that week wondering why my body rejected the induction and petocin, and lots of fear that I wouldn't be able to have my baby naturally and I would miss out on the birthing experience I wanted.

Day by day still no baby and finally the next Monday came, and it was time again to face another horrible experience that I dreaded. 

April 28th we woke up again, and headed back to the hospital at 7 am to begin the process again. Hour after hour passed and my body still wasn't responding, the nightmare from the week before was heavy on my mind. I remember laying on my side that night crying silently and begging God to allow me to have my baby naturally, that he promises us he will never give us anything we couldn't handle, and I knew without a doubt I mentally couldn't have handled a c section. 

Soon after I fell asleep, I woke up after midnight having to go to the bathroom and when I got back to my bed I felt a rush of fluid thinking my water broke. The nurse tested it and it wasn't but when I got into bed more came and we determined that it was my mucus plug! Very quickly after that I began contracting, by 3 am I was throwing up and shaking so badly and crying from how bad the contractions hurt! I don't know if the pain was more extreme from being induced but it hit me so fast, I just remember crying that my mom had to go through that pain to have me and it brought about a whole new perspective and respect that I have for my mom! I finally asked for the epidural and was able to go back to sleep. 

I woke up about 11 am and when my doctor checked me I was at 7 cm. My doctor said my body must have been so stressed out that all I really needed to do was relax this baby out, I can believe that, I was scared of tearing, I was scared of my life changing, I was scared it would hurt! I then went back to sleep again to wake up at 1 pm fully dilated and already labored down, the doctor said it was time to push. I pushed for 3 hours, all the while feeling pain in my right hip through the epidural, we had to up it three times but nothing was helping it so I had to keep going through it, (It was out of place) I remember at one point after throwing up,  I almost gave up just praying to God he would hurry up and come out! We saw after he was born he had a sore on the back of his head from being stuck on my pelvis!
Carl Benjamin Johnson was finally born at 4:06 pm April 29th, 2014. He weighed 9 lbs. 9 oz, big baby! 

Carl was absolutely perfect, despite the hard pregnancy, and even harder labor he is the most beautiful baby with the most beautiful smile, and cutest pouty face I've ever seen. It's been a long but short 6 weeks all at the same time, the nights have been the hardest, and being in the house most of the time too. My recovery was the worst for the first 4 weeks, I couldn't sit until 3 weeks, and its still going I get back pain among some other pain still but I know it all takes time to heal! I'm enjoying spending time with Ben and Carl while I can and while he's getting used to not being in the womb.

We haven't had any visitors besides our Parents yet, and when we went to my grandpa's funeral and he met my aunt's and uncles. Our doctor was very firm about waiting until he got his 2 month shots to expose him to the world, and with how fussy he's been having him get sick would be a horrible addition! All in time we want him to meet the rest of our family and friends!! And we really appreciate how patient everyone has been understanding that our lives have changed and we now sleep when baby sleeps-and are up when baby's up even if its from 2-5 am! (not my favorite time) our worlds revolve around this new little life!