Easter

Wow. Where do I begin? I'll start with last Sunday (40 weeks) I suddenly came down with a virus which I can only think was a sinus infection or something similar. Weird since I hadn't been sick in over 2 years, My throat was all swollen and sinus's and ears hurt. Thankful that my mom told me to call the doctor for Zpac (antibiotic) and it has been helping me get over this so much faster.

Which brings me to today...I missed a call from my cousin which was a little out of the ordinary.. but I was texting with my dad and asked him how my grandpa was doing since I knew he'd been in the hospital earlier this week. My dad didn't know the news but after we got off a phone call I called my cousin back and she let me know that my grandpa (my dads dad) had passed away today. I told her my dad didn't know but as we were talking my uncle Pat was calling him and giving him the news. My dad called me back with a soft voice as I'm already bawling my eyes out, and then he began crying. This was a crazy emotional day..

I realized so much today, that my grandpa was one of the sweetest and strongest men I have ever known. He always had a smile on his face and a drink with dinner, was a devote Catholic and loved all 6 of his kids through thick and thin no matter what he was always there for them. I love my grandpa so much and I only wish I had spent more time with him.

It really made me think of how I have acquired some bad habits as I've grown up, quick to judge or not being as close to family as I wanted too. I need to cut people slack in my life and not hold such high standards and when people hurt me or disappoint me I need to learn to be more assertive with how I feel but also not take it so emotionally and personally but that family is family and life is too short to stay bitter or angry.

Next topic is the baby is overdue, he was due 4.14.14 (last Monday) and today is the 19th, tomorrow is Easter. We're praying he comes quickly, otherwise we have a schedule to be induced for Monday-which is not what we want!

My dad told me something comforting about there being an old Irish saying that an older family member has to pass in order to let a new life in, and he said grandpa was making room for Carl to come into the world, so now I have my angels my Grandpa and Grandma Cox in Heaven looking down on me and my labor and delivery. I would have loved to have my grandpa meet him and had planned for that this summer, but I know he will know him one day.

It's been a tough week, with death is coming a new life, with sorrow there is joy and it's crazy it's right before Easter with the same meaning, Jesus dying and then resurrecting...sorrow and joy, all in one weekend...But God has a plan, and I can't wait to tell baby Carl Benjamin how wonderful his great grandpa was, how happy and his Irish accent...so many good things to tell him.

Time Flies

Boy has time flown by! I'm now 39 weeks 3 days, little kicker can come at anytime and we are ready for him. We had to go in April 7th 2014 (Monday) because I was having severe back pain they think was linked to a fall skating last year, and small contractions so early labor...but he's still in there all comfy and warm I guess. Yesterday Ben got me Arnica and a yoga ball for the back pain and today I woke up able to walk, still with pain. I can't believe how consistent the back agony has been, but I know it'll be so worth it! I just can't wait to meet our little man now any day!

March 4th

Well now, so many things to catch up on!
Sunday March 2nd we had a little false alarm with little mister. I wasn't sure if my water was leaking (broke-slow leak) and so we had had to pack a couple of bags for in case he was coming and head down to  Northwest's child birth center! When we got there they hooked me up to the heart monitor to monitor baby's heart beat, and then did an exam to see if my water was leaking. The nurse explained since I'm only 34 weeks that if he did come he'd most likely have to stay in the nursery until he was healthy enough to come home with us. I felt so nervous-I was super nauseous that he maybe coming this early out of the blue ha ha I'm hoping he can stay in until we can at least have our baby shower and bath supplies for him! ha ha.

Today we cleaned up the house spotless, or well mostly me because Ben finally got the email from the job he applied for back in August 2013. He has an interview on the 18th of March so prayers for him that if this is the job he is supposed to have then all things will fall into place. We are so excited, and I am so proud of him. This is a job he's already done the physical for so it's all interviews and then the job if they like him.

My whole pregnancy I've been praying and having a feeling little one will be coming a little early, whether it's at 37 or 38 weeks. I'm sure hoping still he does! I can't wait to meet him, and see what he looks like...the fact I've created a little mini Ben and I, I'm just waiting in suspense!

That's all for now...God has been so good to us, it's all in His timing.

Hiccups

I thought I would have skipped today's blog, but at about 10:50 pm tonight (five minutes ago) I finally felt our baby hiccup for the very first time in my tummy!!!!

I read that when you feel a baby hiccup in your tummy that means their lungs are clearing out the amniotic fluid and are getting ready for delivery! We're 31 weeks and 3 days today. I'm praying that he comes between 37-38 weeks. We are so excited!

Lord I'm amazed.

By how you love me.

I guess I could get used to blogging out my feelings every day.
Today has been a whirlwind of emotions.
Today I got to meet my friend Chelsy's little newborn Ellie.
Seeing her gave me so much joy to meet my own little son I can barely contain myself now!
Then later this evening I wasn't feeling well and started crying, where Ben just hugs me...
to now listening to more and more worship, laying in bed and feeling baby kick and push and dance in my tummy.
I'm amazed Lord, that I would have a baby who loves worshiping you in my womb already.
That he gets so much more active when I listen to worship then anything else, I've been praying over him so much lately, that he would love you with all his heart and know you the way Ben and I do.
Keep kicking me babe, even though it hurts sometimes haha I love you so much little one I can't wait to meet you!

He loves the sound of music.

I remember every ultra sound so clearly, from the very first one where he looked like a kidney bean at 7 weeks, to the 12 week one where I first saw a baby...little arms and legs dancing and jumping around in my tummy, that was when it was real for me and I began crying. I couldn't believe I was creating this baby, that looked so happy in my tummy!

From the beginning, well ever since I started ever thinking about kids (one day) I always had wanted to have a boy first. I of course would be happy with a girl too (her name would have been Ava :) but I was hoping for a boy first, I had a dream early on in pregnancy that I had a son, and knew it was a boy, when we found out he was for sure a boy we were both so excited!!

I remember the first time I could feel the baby move strong enough to tell Ben to try and feel, and how we were sitting on our bed and he was feeling, and when he felt him for the first time how happy it made him. Even though I feel inside my tummy a lot, I still every time tell him to hurry and come feel, he gets this huge smile on his face and I can see how happy it makes him! I think he's felt him on my tummy more time then I have because I just pay attention to feeling him on the inside, but earlier this week he said I think I feel his hand or something poking out! So he told me to put my hand in this spot and sure enough, a hand, or an elbow ha ha something strong and hard! It was so amazing feeling!

Anyways baby LOVES music! Just like his momma! I've noticed he kicks more to Kim Walker and worship music, Ben played Beethoven once and he kicked a bunch (but I couldn't stand it haha) I love that he loves worship, when we were living at my grandmas I would take baths and put on worship loud and sing to him, it was so relaxing.

I love you baby, I can't wait to meet you  in 63 days or less :)